Don't fear the specter by J. Ridewood

A specter is haunting my life - the specter of growing up. For the last few years, he has appeared to torment me and add inconvenience to my daily routine. He assumes control of my body and forces me into nasty habits and new responsibilities. After one of his visits, I started making my bed in the morning, an activity I formerly viewed as so purposeless that I could not comprehend why any reasonable, moderately busy human being would perform the chore regularly.
But now I like the way my bed looks made up, with the sheets tucked into the sides forming an alluring pocket for nestling purposes. All lame adults probably think the same thing before they climb into bed at night and resume thinking about bills or whatever other concerns they have.
(I also blame the specter for my sudden use of dental floss, the back pain that emerges after I play tennis and the boredom I now have playing video games.)
But while the specter's visits have been intermittent, my graduation in May has been an incessant reminder to grow up and settle into adulthood. This has not been a change I've welcomed. I wouldn't trade the subtle reassurance that comes from feeling like a child for all the sugar farms in Cuba. Acting mature and thinking long-term are things I usually do my best to avoid.
Graduating has almost been like driving into a brick wall at a high speed - only instead of losing a limb or two, I've lost my childhood. Forgetting the tragedy I've suffered, I wake up in the middle of the night confused that my childhood isn't with me. Once I remember I've graduated, I curse the gods for forsaking me and wonder what I could have done to prevent the accident.
Around my graduation, adults of all ages gave me bad advice when they should have been consoling me. "Plastics," I was told on numerous occasions, as if hadn't seen "The Graduate" 15 times.
I much preferred the "Graduate"-esque advice my friend's father, a geology professor, gave me. "Satellites," he said, making me feel like a science fiction version of Benjamin Braddock. But the only thing I've been able to do with his vague advice is spend the last three months wondering if I should start building my own satellite or get satellite television. Neither option seems very fruitful.
The worst advice I received was from someone in my family who compared joining the workforce to a marathon. I've struggled with this analogy. Pheidippides, who, according to legend, ran over 20 miles in one day to announce the Greek's victory over the Persians, died shortly after completing this inaugural marathon. So, using my family member's logic, is getting your first "real" job the beginning of a breakneck march toward death?
But my family member does have a point: Your first nine-to-five job marks your final ascension into adulthood, a marathon that may or may not end in death. Luckily (or strictly from a financial standpoint, unluckily), I've delayed my final ascension by being unable to find a job that makes use of my degree. I've sent out dozens of copies of my resume, secured a few interviews, shaken hands with many people I will never see again and smile until my jaw hurts. No dice. Still unemployed.
Adulthood is a much longer, significantly more difficult process than childhood, and I failed to understand that until recently. Going to college isn't a triumph - it is a fait accompli for many Gen Y'ers. I never doubted for a day in my life that I would go to college. I spent high school filling my time with countless college application-approved activities under the false pretense of getting into "the college of my first choice." My achievements were not always made for their own sake.
But these expectations have done nothing but create more expectations and kill my childhood wonder. As an adult, you have to start at the bottom and move your way up through hard work and luck. Then, when your hair has grayed and you can feign the appearance of someone who has wisdom to offer, you give cliched advice to your younger relatives that references movies from your youth. I can see myself now, asking my grandchildren or nephews if I have ever told them about how life is strikingly similar to a box of chocolates, forgetting in my old age that "Forrest Gump" is a schmaltzy, sentimental piece of crap.
I recently pinpointed the exact moment my childhood died. Early one morning, walking east down 21st Street near the Six Pack, I was returning library books before I was to take an LSAT practice test at Dobie. I had a headache from a lack of caffeine. The only things on my mind were my bank account and job prospects. A cherub-faced freshman in cargo shorts strolled past me with a dopey grin on his face. I envied him yet found myself unable to relate to his exhilaration. Then I noticed one of those signs that alerts drivers of their speed. No cars were on the road, so as I neared the sign, it flashed "0 MPH" in bright, neon-yellow lettering.
It's time to move on. I've become the specter that haunted me for so many years.

woo hoo!

got my first job that is not on-campus and not any odd and random jobs.
It's called Lab Specimen Processor.
Get to stay around the nurses and doctors in the clinic,
see how they treat illnesses and interpret x-rays and lab results.
Look at all the little kids that felt a little better with a piece of sticker.
so cute and this is a very accomplishing job.
there's also an area for promotion.
Promote to Lab assistant technician and Lab technician.
need to show more initiation and enthusiasm to get a promotion.
of course, those pay much better than the processor now. (:

ruined my week-long diet. lost 3 kg and gained it all back.
will start again next week, need more motivation.
read more about house buying, since no one wants to teach me, so i got to do it myself.
Olympics has taken its roll and the opening was a very impressive one.
China came in first in the 4x100 relay medley. surprise surprise.
it'll be Michael Phelps and Nara Torres later at 8:00am Beijing Time.
And weirdly, there's no separate time zones in China, even though it houses one third of the world's population. One time zone, One China. The only thing I can do is to pity those that have the sun rise at 8:00am and set at 11:00pm, built on the assumption that they don't like it.

two more school days and that's all for the summer semester.
more preparation for school in Fall and application for graduate school.
Need to study for GRE and read more about nutrition and cancer.
Return some books and take care of the maturing CD.

Observe the realty market and see the Austin Housing Plans.
Want to buy a house.
Maybe should do a full time job like Kimberlyn, earn her own money and buy her own car. Impressive woman, only a year older. What have I been doing? Should focus more on self-improvement and other more useful things.

(: well, see how the diet goes and everything else. Willing to give up dance finally and do some other stuff. Japanese is coming pretty well, i've started on French and will start on Spanish pretty soon in the holidays. Been walking dogs and brushing cats. Those cats can be mean.
Summer is hot and the weather is burning. clouds are there, but couldn't out beat the carbon dioxide. shall learn architecture a little bit to design and map my own house. I have one year to do that before we buy and own one ourselves.

chinghui