stepping out of the square bagel

i've been noticing alot these days
the insufficiency of my language skills
to paint out pictures I've seen and resolve them into pixels of words small enough to provide a vivid and high-def mental image even for myself.

so i guess it's time for me to find ways to suffice what i hope to suffice,
an enormous appetite for reservoirs,
reservoirs of expression methods.
maybe sketching, writing, singing.
maybe, just maybe.

there's so much more to work on,
the area of self-improvement in my context.
manners, appearance, shape, size, language, expression, socials.
so much more to work on.

keep on pushing myself will be the best way to go around this huge mountain of hurdles i've set for myself... i guess. Most probably, biting on is the only way to boost self-esteem. (:

sometimes i wonder if i'm too strict with myself,
just forcing my own head into tubs of water and hoping that i'll drown in stress without any pain.
suicidal in a sense maybe,
but i'm glad it's figurative.

today I've learnt something new about myself,
from HDF Child development as usual.
Adolescents have a tendency to believe in a possession of invincibility.
"If you can do it, so can I"
And oh yes, that is exactly the sentence that spin round and round in my head all night long.
invincible, you say, i'll rather describe that as shameless.
haha, an adolescent, aren't I?
I'm expected to behave that way. (:

I'll get myself started in search for sketching guides.
"Sketching for idiots".... Search.
Luck.